With so many of us in lockdown again I can sense a feeling of real exhaustion amongst the community, and mums in particular. Another winter and another series of lockdowns with kids at home doing remote learning and all studies show that mums bear the brunt of the extra workload this causes.
I created this graphic last year:
The graphic represented my frustration as a result of the gap between my expectations and reality when in our long lockdown last year. Being the primary carer for the majority of the week wasn't something I could change - it was my reality. But what I could change was my expectations. I accepted:
that my productivity during the day will be impacted by interruptions
that I would need to work outside of school hours to keep up with my work
I would work the same hours but needed to spread them across different times to be able to have more uninterrupted time
It didn't mean I was overjoyed to work on the weekends, but it did mean that I gracefully accepted it let go of feeling resentful or angry about it. That did mean I was a nicer person to be around and I responded better to the kids and husband.
As I write this newsletter we are in our sixth lockdown and I have once again adjusted my expectations to make the gap between expectation vs reality smaller.
Fingers crossed this is only a short lockdown that I have to adjust my expectations for and I do realise that I am in a privileged position where I am healthy and safe and I can easily work from home. This is not the case for many and they have much harder issues to deal with.
And it seems that mums around the world are feeling exhausted too. Anne Helen Petersen who writes the Culture Study newsletter expressed it eloquently in a recent issue called You're Still Exhausted. Peterson is based in the USA and as you can read, she is bracing herself for what the upcoming autumn/winter will mean for them:
But I think the real problem is that life is still exhausting because the pandemic was and remains exhausting in so many invisible ways — and we still haven’t given ourselves space to even begin to recover. Instead, we’re just softly boiling over, emptying and evaporating whatever stores of energy and patience and grace remain……
You see this in people’s feelings about parenting — particularly, I think, amongst mothers who felt like they were left to shoulder the weight of the pandemic with very little support, and are now expected to just…deal with it? Do it all over again this Fall? Forget that we still use women as this country’s social safety net? Put their kids in masks and send them to school and cross their fingers?
You see it in conversations about the mental load, like this thread about meal planning, and the real bitterness that, well, we’re just….still doing this? Everything fell apart, and we could’ve put it back together differently, but we just put it back together the same broke-ass way as before?
So if you are feeling a little exhausted, know others are too. Know that what is being asked of you right now is a lot, so it is okay to pull back on the non-essentials. It is okay to rest more and it is okay to grieve all the things you have missed and are missing.
To take good care of your family, you need to take good care of yourself.
I hope you are doing okay.
Nic
A reminder that if you are in lockdown in QLD and NSW I have created a code for you to receive 10% of Adapt Drinks. The codes are valid until the end of the relevant lockdowns and if they are extended then I will extend the discounts too. Head to Adapt Drinks to place your order and use the codes:⠀
VIC - vic10
QLD - qld0⠀
NSW - nsw10
Timed perfectly for Father’s Day, the team at Penguin has put together another fab giveaway bundle that includes 10 dad-themed books. Head to the blog here to enter.
A little slow to update from last week. The title of this post says it all and I really lacked motivation last week, below is my wrap up.
PERSONAL
1. Sort through old cooking mags, de-clutter recipes and file - I sorted through the mags and kept what I wanted. Stage 2 this week
2. Finalise the boys birthday presents, shopping online - DONE for 1
3. Connect with at least 1 friend over the phone - I did do this Nic, and thank you for calling this out in your email update on your side as it made me think more about completing it even when I didn't feel like it!
WORK
1. Wrap up country meetings, ensure follow up calls are scheduled - DONE for meetings
2. Map out annual calendar with projects and quarterly deadline for regions, set up meeting to discuss with key stakeholders - 50% DONE, need to prioritise this week
3. Catch up on at least 2 hours of strategic meeting recordings - NOT Completed and need to find a strategy to help me stay on track with this. I find that non 'urgent' tasks seem to not get done
HEALTH & FITNESS
1. Follow my fitness routine - 3 x Yoga classes + 3 walks, 2 weights sessions, 1 run, 1 REST day - Not a great week, I had my vaccine and felt awful for a couple of days which put my whole week out. I did manage 3 Yoga Classes, 3 Walks but no weights or Run
2. No sugar snacks or sweet treats (replace with savoury) - Follow the I quit sugar plan - DONE, but did have a treat on Friday & Sat night!
3. Ensure the boys(including hubby!) have nutricious food throughout the day - DONE 80% of the time