Getting the kids to help around the house and Planned + Present is open!
Good morning! I hope your week is going well. Before we get into tips for getting kids to help around the house, just in case you missed the last newsletter, I wanted to let you know that Planned + Present is now open for registrations and will be officially kicking off on Monday 18th Oct. You can read all about the e-course here.
In recognition of the challenging time we have experienced over this year, I am offering Planned + Present at a super discounted price. I want to be able to help as many mums as possible as we emerge from lockdown. The prices for this round are:
Planned + Present Self Paced $49 – usually $149 and this includes lifetime access to the course
Planned + Present Guided $79 – usually $179 and this includes lifetime access to the course and lifetime access to a private Facebook group with weekly Facebook Live videos, so you can receive additional support from me and past members of the course.
Head to the updated Planned + Present information page to find out more and register!
Getting the kids to help around the house
This is definitely one of the most common topics for questions I receive from parents. Some kids are tidier than others, some kids are more co-operative than others but regardless of the nature and behaviour of the kids this is an area of family life that requires constant attention.
We have always expected our kids to contribute to the household workload, starting at a relatively young age. Each year as their skills and capabilities grow, there is an expectation that they will do more. But as much as I would love this to be a set and forget process it isn’t. Here are three key ways that I continue to work with the kids to get them to help around the house.
1. Be consistent
At some stage, most parents have set down some basic tasks kids need to do to help around the house. At some stage, kids stop doing these tasks or they complain so much about doing the tasks that parents are worn down and end up doing the tasks. Time passes and parents eventually get fed up with kids not doing enough and hit reset on household tasks and start expecting kids to do stuff again. The kids knowing what happened last time start off doing the tasks but quietly drift off and the cycle starts all over again.
In a perfect world, this would not happen and everyone would stick to their outlined tasks and we all would happy. The reality is as parents we do have to remind kids to do their tasks and we need to pick them up when they don’t do them. They are unlikely to be bothered by mess or untidiness, so it is up to us to keep them accountable. We need to be consistent with our expectations and the way we follow up on their tasks.
2. Spend time teaching the kids new tasks
In the hive of activity in family life, it can seem easier to just do the task yourself rather than have the kids do it. They may not do it to your standards or they may not know how to do the task. While it will save you time in the short term to do the work yourself, over the long term you are not only creating a heavy burden for yourself but you are also doing the kids a disservice by not teaching them greatly needed life skills.
When you start allocating tasks to the kids make sure you allocate time to teach them how to do it. If the kids are doing the task okay but it is not up to your high standards, try and let this go. If you have to fix it up, do it at a time that they are not watching. If the kids are deliberately not doing the task properly, call them back each time and have them complete it to a standard they are capable of.
3. Help them understand the multiplier effect
If you have teenagers in the house you might be familiar with this refrain when you have asked them to pick up their belongings - “It is just 1/2 things! What is the big deal???” Or when you look for them and ask them to put their dishes in the dishwasher, instead of on the bench right next to the dishwasher - “It would have taken you longer to come and find me and ask me to do it than just putting it in the dishwasher!”
There is definitely truth in that last point if I was just doing it as once-off and for one child. But when I explain to them that if I have to do this for multiple kids, multiple times a day it actually takes me longer to pick up after them. If all five kids leave a couple of things around the house and it is left for me to pick up that is a chunk of time that I could have spent doing something I want to do like read my book or sit outside in the sun.
Kids and teenagers, in particular, can be very self-focused so while explaining the multiplier effect to them may not instantly change their behaviour, I find it is a really important discussion to be had. They need to know that I am not just making the request of them but their siblings also and it is the combined impact of all kids not picking up and tidying up after themselves that creates a great deal of additional workload for me.
In Planned + Present I take you step by step through the system I have created to allocate household tasks to the kids and outline a series of age-appropriate tasks for kids of all ages. I also take you step by step through many other routines and plans that will help you to organise home life and allow you more time for the things you love. Join us for this round kicking off Monday 18th October - hope to see you there!
If you have any questions reply to this email or leave a comment below and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
Nic