You got to know when to hold 'em - talking with teenagers
Hi!
I would love to know who opened this email because the subject was a line from the Kenny Rogers song The Gambler! Kenny Rogers was one of my dad’s favourite singers when I was growing up so this song is very familiar to me.
After hearing this song on the weekend, this line came straight back to me when I was writing my post on talking with teenagers. The topic of teenagers was a prominent answer to the question about what readers would like to see me write about on the blog this year.
I can completely understand this as parenting teenagers can be challenging and there is not as much personal experience based info on teenagers compared to younger kids. Some of the harder years of parenting for me was when our eldest was in year 9 and 10. It wasn’t because he was doing anything out of the norm or doing anything really wrong but it was because I wasn’t keeping pace with his developmental change and my parenting skills for this age really needed work.
Our eldest taught me a great deal about what a teenager needs from their parents and what they don’t need. He definitely made the path easier for his siblings as I played catch up through his teenage years and became better at parenting teens.
Being able to talk with your teen is fundamental to keeping a healthy relationship through their teenage years. However, each of the tips in the post starts with a verb showing that talking with your teen is much more than just words. I have included the tip about knowing when to hold ‘em below and you can read the full post on the blog here.
Know when to hold ’em
No matter how much of a tough exterior your teenager has the reality is they are very sensitive and it is important to remember this when we are talking with teens. Sometimes when they are opening up about things and they share with you something that has turned out badly for them, holding back the critical feedback is important. This allows them to talk about how they are feeling and through this, they are often able to reflect on what they could have done differently. They don’t need an “I told you so” or a solution, they just need you to listen and empathise. You can always plan to come to talk about other things at a later time.
And sometimes teens just literally need to be held. They need to feel your love and know you support them. Not all teens may go for a full embrace (some of mine are not big huggers) so simply placing your arm around their shoulder or hand on their arm is enough for them to know you are there for them.
Bounce Out Of Bed Podcast interview
I recently did a fun interview with Amanda Ewin from the Bounce Out Of Bed Podcast. It was so lovely to talk to Amanda. I met Amanda when she was a member of the first round of my Planned + Present E-course. We had a great chat and you can find the podcast here - Spotify, Apple and Stitcher. Below is the podcast description Amanda wrote:
A dead-simple way to conquer your to do list (so you can find time for relaxation)
When your to-do list feels overwhelming, everything seems hard. It has a domino effect on all aspects of your life. In this convo Nicole Avery and I talk all things systems, things that work and aren't hard to implement. If you think you've tried everything, you'll want to listen to this. Nicole had 5 children under 10 and things were on a slippery slope in a not-so-great direction. By making small changes, Nicole noticed big shifts in the quality of time she was able to spend with her family. She then went on to teach planning, so you can be more present. There's so much juicyness in this conversation, where we go deeper into;
A good morning routine starts the night before
How to plan and organise you life purposefully
How to rise when everything feels like it's too much
How meal planning can change your life
Realising how much time we have before believing it
What to do if you feel like you're drowning in your to-do list
Sunday night brain dump changes everything
Choosing a system that works
The importance of being not just doing
How you can do less to get more done
Sleep and how Adapt Drinks Relax can help
Do you have trouble with getting to and staying asleep? Then Adapt Drinks Relax might help you! L-theanine is a key ingredient in Adapt Relax that has studies showing a positive effect on sleep.
In one study, 30 healthy adults were given either 200 mg L-theanine or a placebo daily for four weeks. The participants taking L-theanine took less time to fall asleep, had fewer sleep disturbances, and took fewer sleep medications, compared to the placebo group. One bottle of Adapt Drinks Relax contains 132mg of L-theanine.
If you are not familiar with what L-Theanine is, it is an amino acid that is not common in the diet which promotes relaxation without drowsiness. L-theanine works to help you with sleep as it:
Boosts levels of GABA and other calming brain chemicals. L-theanine elevates levels of GABA, as well as serotonin and dopamine. These chemicals are known as neurotransmitters, and they work in the brain to regulate emotions, mood, concentration, alertness, and sleep, as well as appetite, energy, and other cognitive skills. Increasing levels of these calming brain chemicals promotes relaxation and can help with sleep. {source}
Also, just the act of substituting Relax for your usual glass of alcohol at night might help improve your sleep. Alcohol is a sedative and as a consequence when we drink alcohol and then attempt to go to sleep it actually sedates us. We lose consciousness but don't fall into our natural sleep cycle.
Alcohol also makes us wake up more frequently during the night (even if we don't remember it) so we have greatly disrupted sleep - a reason why we often wake up feeling very tired after drinking alcohol. This 90 second video from Dr Matt Walker, Professor of Neuroscience at UC Berkeley and author of the best-selling book Why We Sleep explains in more detail the negative impacts alcohol has on your sleep.
Click here to head to Adapt Drinks to order your carton.
Have a great rest of the week.
Nic