Setting expectations with the kids
Hello and happy Friday!
Before I get into discussing setting expectations with the kids, I want to let you know that Adapt Drinks is having a 20% off sale for a limited time (ends 16th Nov) so click here if you would like to place an order 🍹 😊. Now is the perfect time to stock up on a sophisticated non-alcoholic option for your Christmas celebrations and save big. Or simply stock up so that you can have on hand a drink that will help tame the stress and ease the tension that can creep in as we get closer to Christmas.
This week Phil was away for work for most of it, I had some deadlines for work and additional running around with the kids to do on top of this. At the start of the week at dinner, I explained all of this to the kids and I also explained my expectations for the week:
Everyone would need to do something extra each day to help.
I emphasised that while I would request help, they did not need to wait to be asked to help before helping. I gave them concrete examples of how they could use their initiative to help out. For example, if they saw the bin needed emptying, they could do it straight away (as opposed to trying to shove more rubbish into it). If the kitchen compost was full they could take it out to the garden bin. If the dishwasher needed unstacking they could do that (as opposed to putting dirty dishes on the bench near the dishwasher).
The kids who could drive might need to help out with errands or pick up their siblings.
Now to varying degrees at different times, this does happen in our house without the need for me stating it explicitly but sometimes it doesn't. They are young, have full calendars and the state of the house is not their priority. I can risk it and hope that the kids will see that I need some additional help but if it doesn’t come, I end up being very frustrated and unhappy with the situation.
Over the years I have learnt that it is much better for everyone if when I need additional help I ask for it. I cannot assume they will always know what to do to help, so I need to clearly communicate it and set expectations with the kids. While they may not have been jumping for joy about it this week, they all understood the need and did what I asked without any complaining.
I am very fond of saying that frustration and disappointment come when our expectations are not met. I created the below graphic during one of Melbourne’s many lockdowns but the principle applies to all expectations really!
So if you are wanting your kids to do more around the house or help out in other ways, my advice is don’t assume that they will do it of their own accord. Set out your expectations clearly so they know what it is that you are wanting from them.
Have a great weekend!
Nic
Some things you might like
Planning With Kids Newsletter - Christmas themes and FIFA World Cup Flag Activity - pretty self-explanatory!
Article - The Conversation - ‘I’m the problem, it’s me’: Why do musicians revisit their pain and doubt in their art? - Confession! I am slightly obsessed with Taylor Swift’s new album and as such I was drawn to this article.
Like telling your story through a trauma narrative, music can help reduce its emotional impact. Music is a universal language that gives you the chance to be a protagonist in your life story, to see yourself as living through it heroically.
Instagram post - letstalk.mentalhealth - this post is a series of 6 images and it was a great reminder to me on some things not to say when the kids come to me to share how they are feeling.
Tasks to achieve for the week to help work towards my personal goal
1 hour of Christmas planning - done and finally have all the dates and times set for the key family catch-ups.
More family visiting this week, so look forward to catching up with them - my sister and her kids are coming to stay Saturday night which will be lots of fun.
End of year school function - that is tonight’s event.
Tasks to achieve for the week to help work towards my business goal
Adapt Drinks weekly content plan - focus on social media - significant improvement this week. Just need to keep it going!
I have three posts in draft for PWK, need to finalise and publish them - I have published two of the three and will aim to publish the third over the weekend.
Stockist outreach - approach at least 5 potential stockists for Adapt Drinks - I did this and tried a different pitch with them. I have had one response and it was thanks but no thanks and I will follow up on the rest next week.
Tasks to achieve for the week to help work towards my health and fitness goal
Two running workouts - one at my running group and the other solo - done
Continue with rehab exercises/mobility every second day - I didn’t do it this week as my left glute pulled up tight after Tuesday’s session. I am finding the impact of perimenopause to be quite significant on my running at the moment. I will share some more about this in the upcoming newsletters for paid subscribers.
As I have had more events of late, my sleep has been less and I am starting to feel it. I will focus on getting into bed by 9.30pm - I was in bed by 10.00pm most nights but I did get up later than I usually would so overall I did get enough sleep but I need to get back to this as my regular bedtime.
NOW it is your turn!
How did you go this week? I would love to hear about your wins and challenges. Please let me know via the comment below.
Nic